Since the last day of Parental Leave, I haven’t written anything about the experience. I suppose I wanted the last entry to be special and insightful, but instead, it is what it is. There was nothing particularly noteworthy to blog about for the last day, so this was going to be a reflective piece on my 2 months as “Daddy Daycare.” But this week my energy levels have been ultra-low. New schedule has taken the mick out of me. So, I’ll get the ball rolling with some blabbing and maybe by the end of it all there will be some noteworthy reflection.
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A full day of caregiving for an infant is more demanding than a full day of work. That much is for certain. BUT, I heeded the very wise advice of… well, EVERYONE… and napped with Cole at least once a day. Consequently, although the work itself is harder, I was a bit more well-rested. This is contrary to intuition, but it’s true. I think that despite the ubiquitous advice of “nap when they do,” very few people actually follow through with that. A great many adults are trained to NOT nap, and they feel guilty napping or are so glad for the opportunity to do something OTHER than caregiving that they decide to not nap. Mama monkey was like that, rarely napping. The fool! (sorry, babe, didn’t know you were reading this!).
So, to get to the point: I have fewer enjoyable hours of “me” time now that I’m back to work:
Parental Leave Days — wake up, do stuff, nap. Wake up, do other stuff, run errands with baby in tow, nap. Do stuff, hand off baby and retreat to “me” time. Help out a bit, walk dogs (sometimes with help) then more “me” time, which is more enjoyable because I’m awake (1 or 2 naps during the day)
Work Days — wake up EARLIER than before, do stuff, hand off monkey to caregiver, go to work. Work for 8 hours. Come home, do stuff to help with supper (either cook, or care for monkey while Alie is cooking). Eat supper. Walk Dogs. Think about having “me” time but realizing I’m too tired to enjoy pretty much anything. Go to bed.
I’m not entirely sure what my main point is… on one hand, I do believe that caregiving is very difficult and is truly a “job”. On the other hand, I’ve never been more tired on a more consistent basis than having gone back to work and figuring out this new schedule.
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One thing’s for sure: I miss Cole already. Sure, I get to see him for a stretch in the mornings (when he’s at his cutest!), and I get to see him when I get home… but I don’t get to have “chest naps” with him during the week anymore. And I’m not sure it’ll work out that I get many on the weekends either. When I get home he gives me big grins and is happy to see me for a few moments until he’s after his mom for more milk… dad’s just not that interesting when there’s milk to be had. He’s also almost ready for bed, so although he’s cute in an overtired way, he’s got the “crazies” by then.
Also, 2 months is about the right amount of time to get into the swing of things. I was “OK” after about a month, and felt truly competent after 1.5 months. Then suddenly it’s over! Just when I’m getting good at it! Now I have to spend another X amount of time “getting good” at being the working dad.
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Couldn’t have asked for better help than what Alie gave me. Always willing to let me handle things my own way, trusting that I would take care of him just fine (which I did). No micro-managing his daily routine… just offering advice if/when I asked for it, and not much more. If anything, she was probably hoping for more disasters like that first day so that she could laugh at/with me about it. 
I probably could have been (and could be.. present tense) more helpful in the evenings in order to return the favour… but I think I have less stamina. I certainly have less boobs.
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Visits with people hardly ever worked out. People are busy. They can’t adjust their schedules to YOUR baby napping schedule. Cole and I saw relatives less often than they probably would have preferred, and meetups with friends and acquaintances were always a tricky affair for me. Not sure how Alie managed it. The Monday and Friday routine that my parents got into was probably the most consistent one, providing me much-needed relief, and due to its nap-agnostic nature (visits were at my house and could extend throughout naps) the easiest to pull off.
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Work itself has been an easy adjustment for the most part. I’m not firing at 100% efficiency yet, but I’m doing good work and I’m getting back into it pretty quickly. By Monday I’m sure I’ll take my current 95% up to 100%.
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Think that’s it for now. I’m tired. Can’t be clever OR insightful. And since that’s it “for now”, that’s probably it for this series of entries. I have every intention of continuing to keep everyone updated with things (and hopefully more videos and pictures!), but the regular updates have come to an end now that Parental Leave is over. Thanks for reading!
