As it turns out, there’s no pattern to this little guy. I just can’t figure him out.
Day 16
A fairly uneventful day. In truth, I don’t remember all the details. All it takes is one additional full day (day 17) to erase most of the memories of day 16. But here’s how it pieced together from the best of my memory:
Morning
I’ll just call it “morning” because I don’t really remember when I got up or what we did with ourselves. I remember looking over at him, half-asleep from my crap sleep schedule, and wishing he’d sleep more instead of clawing at my face with his fingernailed little digits. Not that I really expected anything different, as this was all part of the normal morning routine. But ‘expecting’ and ‘hoping’ are two different things! After waking up, we went through a series of bodily function mishaps interspersed among partaking in his usual activities (book, play mat, jolly jumper, walk around the house with dad while he tries to have coffee and cereal and watch a few minutes of Ellen or the TV Listings Channel or whatever happens to be on):
First, really wet high-cc vomit necessitated change of outfit.
Then diaper-not-tight-enough leakage mishap necessitating another change of outfit.
Then peeing on himself mid-outfit change.
This interrupted further playtime because a shower was in order.
Sometime in there he had a nap. I was feeling really tired still, so I was dying for naptime. When he finally went down, I tried sleeping on the bed next to him (maybe my comforting presence and ready-to-soothingly-rock hand would help him double his minutes of napping) but it was the lightest, crappiest non-sleep I’ve had in a long time. Which only served to double my grumpiness when he woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep a mere 40 minutes later.
Afternoon
The plan was to go see the fabulous June Mommies. I would have arrived late as it is, since his ETN (Estimated Time of Nap) was 12:30. His usual 45 min. nap plus driving time would have seen me at Emily’s place for 1:30, already half an hour late. Factor in some dad disorganization and it’d be more like 1:45 or even 2:00. An hour late would be a bit embarrassing, but still doable. The mommies would understand. However, after fighting the good fight at home, it wasn’t working out. Tried for the car nap “cheat”, but that didn’t put him out until 1:45. Factoring in naptime, etc., I probably wouldn’t arrive until 3:00. 2 hours late is a bit ridiculous and I wasn’t sure if they’d still be socializing by then.
As part of the car nap, I was already out in that neck of the woods before he even went under. He went under while I was deciding to go home.
Drove home, parked up on the street, and prepared for hopefully a 1.5-hr (1 hour remaining) car nap. After 40 mins, he started stirring. “OH NO YOU DON’T!” I said very very silently… to myself… (so as to not wake him up, you see). Started up the car, and tried letting the gentle thrum of the engine and bounce of the car put him back to sleep. It was working! Eyes half-closed… head lolling. But then… NOT working! But then… working! He was in and out, like something that was very out and then suddenly very in (legwarmers? Analogy fails me). I was driving in our hood, which happens to be close to South Keys. So, when he finally woke up I figured that Home Depot would welcome us. Side note: no long nap for Cole = no nap for dad.
Which it did.
A well-behaved but LOOPY (still tired even though awake) little guy. He’s so funny and cute when he gets like that, but I get exhausted just looking at him.
Evening
I don’t usually add the evening bit. I honestly slack off and “let” mommy take over most of the time. Not that she’s had an easy day, either, but I’m a bad husband. There, I said it.
But this night was even worserer and even slackerer. When she got home, I promptly retreated to the basement and slept. For 4 hours. She was not impressed.
“Are we fighting?” I asked.
“Nope, we’re fine.” she said. Liar.
5 minutes later:
“If we’re fighting because I just slept for 4 hours, I’m sorry.”
This made her laugh a little. Not quite enough of a laugh to make up for a 4-hour nap in which I completely ditched her to our overtired son and the duties of making supper (a Delissio Pizza… come on folks, it’s not like I ditched her to make Duck a L’Orange). But at least it was a bit of a laugh.
Day 17
I don’t get it. His naps are… unpredictable.
Morning
We had a doctor’s appointment, so I drove the family today. Near the end of the appointment it was clear that he was tired already. He fell asleep before we dropped Mama Monkey off at work. I had planned to see my work colleagues this morning, so there was no point going home. The dogs needed new stuffed animals, which we buy at the Salvation army for a buck or two each. Incidentally, the toys DO get destroyed and there IS stuffing—aka Stuffie Guts—everywhere… all the time…. So, I hung around one of the Thrift Shops until he woke up, after which it would be a short drive to my workplace.
He decided to car nap for TWO HOURS.
I didn’t want to switch to the passenger side, and to keep our car seat in the right position, the driver’s seat is a bit more upright than I usually prefer.
TWO HOURS of middle-back torture. It was not pretty. But I refused to give up the chance to “drive” him back to sleep again should he stir. Which I DID successfully do a few times. Workers in the parking lot watching me quizzically as I drove past for the 5th time, unaware of the sleeping little dude in the back seat. Probably thinking that I’m casing the joint.
Got the stuffies.
Went to my workplace. Arrived at around noon.
Afternoon
Hung out there for two hours. Colleagues (particularly Lisette) took him off my hands, and I just sort of puttered around. Had a few work-related conversations, a few non-work-related conversations, and generally just enjoyed the hand-off. The plan was originally to see Nana as well, but by 2:00 I could tell he was ready for a nap. Gave her a call (she was occupied anyhow) and went home for the nap.
He went down fairly easily, but wouldn’t stay down independently. I had to let him sleep on my chest, which in my mind was awesome, ’cause I usually nap really easily with him there. But today I didn’t do it right. The bed was too cluttered, and I was too close to the edge. I kept feeling like one arm was about to fall over the edge of the bed, which subconsciously kept me partially in the world of the waking. It was a very light nap. And it lasted only 45 minutes, which was just enough time for me to fall asleep for a mere 5 minutes. 5 minute sleeps are the worst, ’cause you’re so disoriented and unrefreshed when you wake up. Which meant I was a very grumpy dad again.
When I called Alie to see when she needed picking up, she said she was pretty much ready. I didn’t need any convincing.
Evening
Just ’cause I like parallel structure…
Tried staying awake, and made it through supper. Helped by offloading Cole a little bit here and there, but I admit I was still slacking. When it was finally his bed time, I stretched out on the La-Z-Boy and napped for over 2 hours. Again. Then when Alie woke me up, I somehow spent another hour in the La-Z-Boy… I don’t mean “somehow” metaphorically, I mean that I don’t feel like I fell asleep again, but when I asked Alie how long ago she shook me awake, she said “about an hour.” And I honestly don’t know where that hour went. Like I said, I didn’t THINK I had fallen asleep again, though I must have.
Walked the dogs.
Couldn’t sleep.
Wrote a blog entry. At 4am.
Tomorrow WOULD be daddy daycare hell, except it’ll be full. I will make sure it’s full. 
